Saturday, January 21, 2006


I love my wife so very much

I love my wife very much. I hurt so much because she hurts so much. I will never be able to show her how much she means to me. I wish I could take away the pain that her child causes her, she loves her in secret only. I pray for her to be forgiving as the unforgivable is done to her daily. She is a true Christian. Her prayers are precious to God. She is a woman of faith. True faith brings true pain, but ultimately joy. But pain in these end times as child turns against parent. How I love her, how I wish I could ease her hidden pain. She is a role model for me. And I love her and I always will. She does not hurt the innocent, she does not use words as weapons. Her faith is called foolish by the faithless. She is mocked, yet doesn’t mock the ones that mock her, but prays for them instead. That is real love.

Well, I can honestly say you're an inspiration to me and I love you very much. The pain of loss I feel sometimes I imagine it must be a lot like a parent that has lost a child. The only difference is that they will never see their child again in this lifetime (which believe me I'm not making light of that, because I always have the hope of my child returning to me so to speak). Perfect I am not, but I can honestly say my intent is never to hurt (whether it be my child or anyone else). There are times when I feel like I have failed my child in some way and that I just haven't found the right words that would change it all. God is what gets me through those days. I will be the first to admit I worry about all my children, tend to be over-protective, too nagging, too grouchy (which is unfortunatley because I let the things of this life bring me down and forget to rely on God), etc. but it is always out of love (and never meant to be a punishment though at times I know it may seem that way). So I will just continue to pray for all my children and know that God is watching over them for me. I also will continue to thank him for my family and for you my wonderful husband. Love you.

Your wife
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